


Words Forgotten

by GovernorKristique



Series: Spliced [2]
Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:22:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GovernorKristique/pseuds/GovernorKristique
Summary: Vera questions what Joan knows and remembers. She lets herself fondly reflect on a sweet moment she and Joan shared together at the height of their romance.
Relationships: Vera Bennett/Joan Ferguson
Series: Spliced [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020913
Kudos: 26





	Words Forgotten

Vera’s breath caught as she stared back in shock. Her hands felt safe and comfortable in Joan’s gentle grasp. She relaxed as she felt the comforting warmth radiating from Joan’s body as she inhaled the familiar aromas of prison-issued laundry soap and rosewater-infused moisturizer. “I don’t know what to say,” Vera whispered. “That’s okay,” Joan whispered back. “I don’t know what any of this means, I just…” she carefully tucked a loose strand of Vera’s hair behind her ear. She brought her hand to Vera’s face, gently tracing small circles with her thumb across her flushed cheek. She slowly leaned down, inches away from her lips. “Can I...please…” she whispered. Vera gently nodded, peering into her irises with wonder. She could see a fear and longing in the woman’s eyes that she felt as well. As she closed her eyes, she felt Joan wrap one hand around her waist, while the other cradled her head with a gentle innocence that Vera had never felt from her former lover before.   
Joan slowly lowered her lips to Vera’s and delicately kissed the radiant younger woman. Vera gave in and allowed her body to respond to the sensation. Vera slowly ran her hands across Joan’s collarbones and shoulders, eventually wrapping her arms around her neck. She could tell Joan was hesitating; her lips were barely touching her. Vera leaned in to Joan and kissed her deeply. With a small sigh, Joan let herself become entranced by Vera. She gingerly untied the twist of her hair, freeing her bouncy curls. Joan pulled away, and lightly kissed Vera’s ear, sending shivers down her spine. Joan adorned Vera’s throat with soft kisses, breathing in the sweet lavender scent of her hair. “Moya malen’kaya myshka” she whispered. She could feel Vera’s body tense as she jerked away and stared into Joan’s eyes with accusation. “What did you just say?” Vera’s chest heaved as she tried to read Joan’s face. “I-I-don’t, I don’t know. It just came out” Joan stammered as she looked down at the floor. “I’m not even sure what I’ve said. Dr. Miller told me that she-that I’m Russian, but I can’t speak it. There’s sounds, and some letters I can visualize but I can’t put them together. I don’t know what they mean,” she choked. 

Hesitantly looking back up at Vera, she could see the words had triggered something in her. “But they mean something to you...please Vera…” she reached for her hand and pulled her close. “Did I say something cruel? Something...hurtful?” she pleaded.  
Vera huffed and pulled her hand away. She dug her fingernails into her palms, and spoke low “Joan, if you are fucking with me right now, or you aren’t who you say you are, I will make your life a living hell. You will not make a fool out of me again. Do you understand?” Vera spoke through clenched teeth, raising her heels to make herself taller. Mere inches away from Joan’s face, she could see her lip began to quiver again, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry Vera. I don’t mean to do you any harm.” Joan turned away and sat at the edge of her bed. “ I do...have love for you. And while I might not know what that means, I promise my feelings are real.” She buried her head in her hands as she tried to calm her nerves. Vera hesitated, not knowing what was real, or if she could trust the shaken woman before her. She relaxed her wrists and released the tension in her face as she tried to make sense of what was happening.  
“I care for you Vera, and I want to be with you...it just feels right. But I’m afraid. I’ve clearly managed to deeply upset you and I don’t even know what I said. What if I hurt you again? What if I hurt you like she did?”  
Vera sighed and sat down next to the trembling woman. This is probably a huge mistake, Vera thought. But kissing Joan had brought old feelings flooding back, and their love had never been easy. What if “Kath” was the person Vera always longed for Joan to be? Without the daggers in her eyes, the need to inflict pain on innocent people, or the constant scheming to take revenge on those who had wronged her. Vera’s loneliness after things ended with Joan continued to haunt her; an oppressive weight of negative energy followed her everywhere she went. 

“It means ‘my little mouse’. You used to call me that after...you just used to call me that. It was your nickname for me. I hated it at first but it seemed to make you happy, so I grew to like it I guess.” 

Vera looked down at her hands as memories of the former governor lying in bed, completely spent with a post-coital cigarette between her lips flashed in her mind. Vera felt a warm sensation between her legs as she allowed herself to remember the way her beautiful mistress would run her fingernails down her arm with a mischievous look in her eye. Her lips curled into a satisfied smirk as she laid across from Vera. “You did well tonight moya malen’kaya myshka. Very obedient indeed…” she trailed off. She turned to put out the cigarette, and swung her long and elegant legs over the side of the bed. “Come Vera, on the floor. Sit in front of me.” Damn she wants more already? Vera thought. She obeyed the order, and sat on her knees facing her mistress’ radiant core between her thighs. Joan laughed, “why Vera, while I admire your dedication to my pleasure, that’s not quite what I had in mind. Turn around, relax.” Vera listened, and turned away from the raven-haired beauty. She faced the mirrored sliding doors of Joan’s closet. Do I always look this exhausted and dishevelled after sex? she wondered.  
Joan opened the drawer on her nightstand and pulled out a hairbrush and small bottle of argan oil. She squeezed a few drops of the oil into her hand, and rubbed her palms together to warm them up. She gently ran her fingers through her deputy’s hair, working the oil through her soft tresses. When she was satisfied she’d conditioned every strand, she massaged Vera’s head with a strong but tender pressure. “Mmm governor, I love when you play with my hair,” Vera sighed, leaning her head back. “Enjoy it my darling,” Joan purred as she grasped the nape of Vera’s neck. As her boss and lover worked the tension out of her shoulders, Vera melted into a blissful state of relaxation. She closed her eyes for awhile, as she felt the soft bristles of a hairbrush glide across her scalp. Joan liked to play rough, but she always left Vera feeling safe and cared for.

“Why would you let her call you a name you didn’t like?” Vera jumped a little, startled by the soft cadence of a woman who spoke nothing like Joan. After taking a moment to come back to the present, Vera stared inquisitively at the prisoner; a pitiful and anxious shell of the mystifying powerhouse she once was.

“You really don’t remember who you are, do you?”

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed a few authors here nickname Vera "little mouse". I loved that! Hope it's okay I used it too, still learning the fanfic community etiquette :)


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